Sunday, January 10, 2010

How to Save Your Relationship With a Measure of Giving and Taking



Try evaluating your own relationship. Can you identify a balance of 50-50 give and take in the relationship? If you can't, you should start making the unavoidable changes in order to save your relationship. Take the first step by learning how to maintain your relationship with a balance of give and take.

First, let me tell you the truth. It is impossible to say whether your partnership is definitively equal because it is all about your perception. As such, to succeed in saving your relationship, you need to be objective.

You need to be able to gauge objectively how much love your partner and yourself is putting in to maintain the relationship.

Money foregone can be use to measure sacrifice towards a relationship but it is not a correct and useful gauge. In fact, it is a dangerous form of measurement. One should avoid using money to measure love.

Likewise the really important rewards of being in a relationship can only be assessed by the individuals concerned.

When the relationship has equity of give and take, both your partner and yourself will feel being loved. There are no considerations about why your partner is giving you less attention than you have given him/her.

Growing resentment will be felt if there is an imbalance of give and take. You will begin to feel that your contribution is not recognized and appreciated by your partner.

Usually, most relationships started out with the imbalance of sacrifice and couples who are unaware will only find out about the problem when the sacrificing partner decides to leave.

There are people who are more likely to sacrifice than others and also people who only think about themselves. Thus, never let your relationship be in such situation.

There are times when couples have to make sacrifices in terms of hobbies, interests and emotional ties so as to build a lasting relationship. All of us will give up other relationships toward the one and only special one. Both partners have to work to find ways to relate to one another and grow within that relationship.

Setting aside some time to reflect the daily actions done by your partner and show appreciation can assist to strike a balance of give and take. If you are the giving party, communicate to your partner on your feelings so that he/she will understand and start to appreciate what you have done.

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Would you say you are a giver or a taker? Would you say your partner is a taker or a giver? If you feel you are a giver and you are not being given to in equal measure, you need to save your relationship by raising this fundamental issue with your partner.


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